Who Lives In a Chained-Up Coffin Under the Sea?

BEHOLD! Following the departure of MAX FLIEGER, the drummer from the ZEPPELIN album earlier this year, our replacement is HPTM WILHELM BATHORY. BATHORY has so far taken the drum stool for a mission to the legendary CART AND HORSES (birthplace of IRON MAIDEN) with our stalwart allies MARQUIS DE SADE.

His FULL BIOGRAPHY can be found below:

Born into darkness as the son of the infamous Elisabeth Bathory, Wilhelm’s fate was sealed from the start. A knight in medieval times, he fought not for honor, but for power—his allegiance shifting with the winds of war, always in service of the highest bidder. His blade was feared in battle, but his influence behind closed doors was even more terrifying. Wilhelm immersed himself in the occult circles of the Renaissance, shaping history from the shadows as a member of sinister secret societies—the whispers of his presence threading through Illuminati lore.

When the Age of Exploration dawned, Wilhelm took to the seas, commanding ships that sailed under no true flag. Pirate? Privateer? Something far worse. His crew swore loyalty in blood, knowing that betrayal would bring fates worse than drowning. For centuries, he roamed the oceans, hunting, plundering, and feeding—until the eruption of WWII finally gave him a new purpose.

With war machines dominating the battlefield, Stuka Squadron emerged, offering their aerial prowess to the highest-paying overlord. Wilhelm, already battle-hardened, took swiftly to the skies, his vampiric instincts perfect for dogfights where seconds meant survival. The world plunged into chaos, and he reveled in it. Stuka Squadron’s reign extended through WWII, leaving behind nothing but destruction and mystery—those who spoke of them were silenced, their stories dismissed as wartime horror myths.

But war alone was never enough. The rise of heavy metal stirred something primal within Wilhelm. The raw power, the fury—it was as if the music had been crafted for creatures like him. The 70s and 80s became his new battlefield, his drumbeats thunderous like gunfire, his presence magnetic.

He thrived… until the 90s.Grunge arrived like a plague, and Wilhelm fell into despair. The anguish of distorted guitars and nihilistic lyrics echoed his own immortality—a crushing eternity without purpose. He abandoned the stage, wandering through strange mortal occupations that offered little meaning. Whether hidden inside Mr. Blobby’s grotesque costume, calling the shots as the Deal or No Deal banker, or burning rubber as The Stig, none of these roles could fill the void.

As the metal scene fractured in the mid-2000s, Wilhelm chose oblivion. His coffin—wrapped in chains, cast into the Solent—became his refuge. But history has a way of calling back its monsters.

In 2025, Stuka Squadron needs their drummer once more. The world teeters on the brink, and his rhythmic fury is the missing piece to their resurgence. They will unearth him, drag him from the abyss, and return him to the war—whether he wants it or not.